My Depression Journey ~ Part V and Finale

“Praise the Lord; praise God our Savior. For each day He carries us in His arms.” Psalms‬ ‭68:19‬

IF the doctors were correct, and IF by a slim chance I had depression, I would learn to “COPE” with the difficult effects of depression, and that’s what I did for 24 years.

Coping skills helped some, but my depression continued to loom. I longed to reach out for help and finally did when I couldn’t keep it inside any longer.

I made an appointment with our family doctor. Our doctor was a Christian and we attended church together. I will never forget the look on his face as I poured out of my heart; telling him everything. His first response was, “I had no idea”. How could he have known? Up to this point I had told no one.

My doctor listened intently and with sympathy. When I had finished, he said, “Deb, you have depression.”

We talked about medication and counseling, both of which I did not want to do.

He explained depression, brain function, heredity, brain chemicals, and medications. Everything he said made sense, but as a believer I thought, “How could I say yes to medication?”

My doctor explained that seeing a doctor for clinical depression is no different than seeing a doctor for an injury. He said other things, too, that I don’t remember, but before I left his office, I had agreed to medication, but not counseling.

I was surprised at how much better I began to feel on medication. So much better that after a few years, I began to taper off, but every time I did my symptoms returned. Deep down I didn’t want to take the medication.

After five years on medication, the desire to not take it won over, and I said, “enough.” If the symptoms returned, I would live with them………………and they did.

I was back to square one, and that’s where I stayed until a few months ago. It was at my first visit to the doctor since moving last year that I took the first step. The paperwork I filled out was in two parts: physical health and mental health. I zipped through the physical health questions checking, “no, no, no…..” and felt pretty proud of my physical condition. I was soon humbled when I filled out the mental health questionnaire. My mind wanted to check “no, no, no,” but my heart and soul knew that wasn’t true. For the first time, even before seeing the doctor, I admitted to myself in the waiting room that I have depression.

The visit with my new doctor was a good one. She started with the physical questionnaire and then moved to the mental one. Once again, I heard the words, “Deb, you have depression.” We talked at length about medication and counseling, both of which I welcomed, and I am in the process of doing.

Although this is the finale in MY DEPRESSION JOURNEY, it is also the beginning. Writing about it has opened the door to talking about it. I am looking forward to sharing all the Lord has taught me in hopes of helping others just like me. To God be the glory! Great things He has done!

Great is God’s Faithfulness to me! ❤️ Deb

24 thoughts on “My Depression Journey ~ Part V and Finale

  1. I’m glad you decided to share your journey of living with depression, Deborah. Hopefully, your story will help others to decide it’s ok to seek medical help for mental health issues.
    Please keep us posted.
    God Bless!

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  2. Thank you for sharing your story Deb. May it reach those who need to hear this very message. And may the Lord continue to be with you as you navigate this.

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  3. Thank you for sharing your story! It’s such an inspiration. I have battled with depression for years and recently it has become much worse. I hate taking medicine, but after reading your story I think it’s time I talk to my doctor.

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    1. You’re welcome, Michelle and thank you for the words of encouragement. I have prayed for you today and will continue to keep you in my prayers. I hope you make an appointment with your doctor soon. If you want to let me know how things go, I can give you my personal email to keep in touch. No pressure or worries, if you don’t. You are not alone❤️

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  4. Deb, I did not receive a part two to your series and really wanted to share these with my daughter Darla. I think they might be beneficial to her. I really think your story can help others and it was brave of you to share it. Darla did seek counseling many years ago, but she was not a Christian counselor, and her main advice was that she worried too much about pleasing others and needed to think more about herself with no mention of God.

    May God continue to be with you in your journey and bless you for sharing your story and be an inspiration to others. Love you, Betty T.

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      1. Deb, I don’t text. I just have a flip top phone—not very tech savy. Could you possibly send it by email that I can print off?

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