My Depression Journey ~ If I Tried Harder To Not Be Depressed, Depression Would Go Away: Part Four of Five

Part four in the series My Depression Journey. “Praise the Lord; praise God our Savior. For each day He carries us in His arms.” Psalms‬ ‭68:19‬

I remember the first person who told me they had depression. My friend, Julie.

Julie and I were counselors at church camp. One afternoon, on my way back to the cabin after a walk, I spotted her off by herself. I was curious as to what she was doing. She had a yellow legal pad on her lap. It looked as if she was writing a long letter to someone. When I asked her what she was doing she said she was writing down her thoughts. I asked, why, and she explained writing down her thoughts helped her process her depression.

When she said the word depression, it was as if I had heard the word for the first time and I wanted to know more. As I listened to her story, I felt every word as though they were my own. I had met a kindred spirit, but I didn’t know why.

My encounter with Julie happened several years before I sat in a doctor’s office and was told I had clinical depression. I didn’t want depression. I didn’t want to be like Julie. She was sad and broken.

No matter how sad and broken I felt on the inside I would not accept depression. I would choose joy. I would pray more, study the Word more, praise God more……I would try harder and do more……..

I thought if I acknowledged depression, I had failed as a Christian. I believed God would still love me but I felt in my heart He would be very disappointed in me. I wouldn’t cave. I had to try harder to not be depressed, and that’s what I did for the next 24 years.

Great is God’s Faithfulness………to me ❤️ Deb

6 thoughts on “My Depression Journey ~ If I Tried Harder To Not Be Depressed, Depression Would Go Away: Part Four of Five

  1. We serve an Awesome God because just because a person has depression or someone who has rare diseases (like my daughter) God is never disappointed in us. He knows that we are not perfect however he does give us the strength to move forward one step at a time and one day at a time.

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  2. This reminds me that God accepts us as we are and we have to be honest with Him about everything. Through that honesty, He can help us to get the help we need. But if we cover things up to try and be “super Christian” we can’t get what we need. Thanks Deb. I enjoyed reading your series on depression 💚

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