Part four in the series My Depression Journey. “Praise the Lord; praise God our Savior. For each day He carries us in His arms.” Psalms 68:19
I remember the first person who told me they had depression. My friend, Julie.
Julie and I were counselors at church camp. One afternoon, on my way back to the cabin after a walk, I spotted her off by herself. I was curious as to what she was doing. She had a yellow legal pad on her lap. It looked as if she was writing a long letter to someone. When I asked her what she was doing she said she was writing down her thoughts. I asked, why, and she explained writing down her thoughts helped her process her depression.
When she said the word depression, it was as if I had heard the word for the first time and I wanted to know more. As I listened to her story, I felt every word as though they were my own. I had met a kindred spirit, but I didn’t know why.
My encounter with Julie happened several years before I sat in a doctor’s office and was told I had clinical depression. I didn’t want depression. I didn’t want to be like Julie. She was sad and broken.
No matter how sad and broken I felt on the inside I would not accept depression. I would choose joy. I would pray more, study the Word more, praise God more……I would try harder and do more……..
I thought if I acknowledged depression, I had failed as a Christian. I believed God would still love me but I felt in my heart He would be very disappointed in me. I wouldn’t cave. I had to try harder to not be depressed, and that’s what I did for the next 24 years.
Great is God’s Faithfulness………to me ❤️ Deb