My Depression Journey ~ How Can I Be A Christian and Depressed At The Same Time?: Part Three of Five

Part three in the series My Depression Journey. “Praise the Lord; praise God our Savior. For each day He carries us in His arms.” Psalms‬ ‭68:19‬

After being diagnosed with clinical depression twice, I would not accept that I had depression even though I struggled more days than naught with an overwhelming sense of sadness, lostness, worthlessness, false guilt, and shame. Not to mention, the conflict in my soul that said, “You’re a Christian. Christians do not get depressed. You haven’t prayed enough. You don’t have enough faith. You have unconfessed sin in your life. You are under spiritual attack, and the most hurtful; God is disappointed in you”.

My faith and relationship with Jesus is 100% the most important thing in my life. I say that without any hesitation or bat of an eye. So to think my depressed condition was due to a lack of faith, prayer, or disobedience, attack from the enemy, sin, or that God was disappointed in me added to my sadness.

I earnestly prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” Psalms‬ ‭139:23-24‬. I didn’t want anything to stand between me and my Heavenly Father.

Asking God to search my heart solidified that my faith and prayer life was focused on Jesus and was growing daily as I spent time with Him. He confirmed that the desire of my heart was to obey Him in all things and I was careful to pay attention to those things He pointed out that were offensive to Him. Concerning the enemy, no one is exempt from his attacks.

Knowing my heart was in the right place, gave me temporary peace, but it wasn’t long before thoughts of sadness and lostness began to take over my life and the battle was on.

How was it possible to be a professing Christian and have depression, IF I had depression. I still wasn’t convinced. I felt like a hypocrite. Teaching others how to have peace with God, while I fought tooth and nail to hang onto His peace.

I beat myself up daily, which only added to my feelings of worthlessness while I cried out to God to deliver me from the pit of my despair………

Great is God’s Faithfulness ❤️ Deb

20 thoughts on “My Depression Journey ~ How Can I Be A Christian and Depressed At The Same Time?: Part Three of Five

  1. The struggle with that question of how can I have depression as I am a Christian is something that i feel is thought by many who struggle with depression.
    Thank you for sharing Deb 💙

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I absolutely believe that to be true. I would have sought help long before I did, if I hadn’t wrestled with that question. Thank you, Manu for your kind and encouraging words💛

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  2. I’ve commented on each of your posts about struggling with depression, Deborah. I suppose they are going to your SPAM folder?

    It’s so sad that good Christian people believe that believers suffer from depression.

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  3. In the book of John as Jesus was preparing his disciples for when he would leave them he said: In this world you will have trouble but take heart I have overcome the world. John 16:33. Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean our lives will be easy at all, there are times it seems that our lives become harder and it does at time. It is good that you share your testimony with others.

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  4. Dear DeborahMarie,
    Your raw honesty in these blogs is refreshing. Far too many of us only tell the “happy” stories. Nik Ripken, in the “Insanity of God” and again in “The Insanity of Obedience” shows that Father is more pleased with our simple obedience than with “glory stories” and megachurch “successes.”
    My sister also struggles with depression (still at 75 years old). Quite a few years ago, after trying out some meds from a shrink, she instead decided that when she feels a need to cry, she will just find a quiet place to spend with the Lord and cry on His shoulders. She is one of the greatest saints I have ever known and has heard His voice more clearly than anyone else I have encountered. She knows Who will wipe away the tears when she sees His face.
    ❤️& 🙏, c.a.

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  5. I just got caught up on your 3 blogs about your depression. Your transparency is so needed among Christians today. I really look forward to reading more. I know that what you write is going to help so many today who struggle with this “secret” issue in their lives as they walk with God but still deal with depression. What a blessing you are as you share your journey, Deb!

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  6. Hello DeborahMarie, I understand and have been there and still have brief moments. Sometimes we forget Christians are humans with emotions and even Jesus on earth displayed emotions. Matthew 21:21 He was upset/angry perhaps. John 11:35, Luke 19:41, Hebrews 5:7-9. Hang in there sister and I will add you on our prayer list and pray for you myself. 🤗 🙏

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    1. For sure, Jesus can and will carry us through depression, whether or not He heals us! According to John 9:1-3, if Jesus doesn’t heal a person it is for the power of God to be seen through him. “As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. “Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?” “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.” John‬ ‭9:1-3‬ ‭NLT‬‬. I do pray you have more good days than bad. God bless you.

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